By: Adebayo DhikruLlahi Laspalmas (Aboo Sahl Al-Atharee)
18-04-1440 A. H (Wednesday 25th of December 2018.
All praise and adoration be to Allāh, choiced peace and blessing upon our dear Prophet, his household and companions.
Narrated Umm Salamah - radiyallahu anha:
Umm Sulaim came to the Messenger of Allaah - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam - and said,
"Verily, Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth. Is it necessary for a woman to take a bath after she has a wet dream (nocturnal sexual discharge)?
The Prophet - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam - replied, "Yes, if she notices a discharge."
Umm Salama, then covered her face and asked, "O Allah's Apostle! Does a woman get a discharge?"
He replied, "Yes, let your right hand be in dust (meaning: good betide you), and that is why the son resembles his mother. (Saheeh al-Bukhaaree #129, The Book of Knowledge)
Introduction to Copulation
Allaah says:
وَقَدِّمُوا لِأَنفُسِكُمْ
and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your own selves (Al-Baqarah:223)
Making A Supplication
Al-Imaam ibn Katheer (Tafseer Ibn Katheer vol. 1 p. 374) said: Ibn 'Abbaas opined that (it means) to say bismiLlaah before copulation. It was authentically reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree from Ibn Abbaas, the Messenger of Allaah - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam - said,
"If anyone of you, when intending to have a sexual relation (sleep) with his wife, says: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna ashShaitan, wa Jannib ash-Shaitana ma razaqtana, the devil would never harm that child.'
Foreplay or Romance
Know - may you see sweetness - scholars graded all clear-cut narrations regarding the obligation of foreplay weak. But, it is recommended as it comes in the generality of the verse:
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ
And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise(al-Baqarah:228)
... and the narrations that will be cited. It is very useful for the wife reach the fullest sexual satisfaction as the husband does.
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) also encouraged foreplay between the spouses.
Jabir ibn Abd Allah (Allah be pleased with him) narrates: “I was in the company of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) in a battle...The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said to me: “Did you marry?” I answered: “Yes”. He said: “A virgin or a non-virgin?” I said: “A non-virgin”. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Why not a virgin so that you may play with her and she can play with you?”… (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1991)
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) also stated:
Every game a person plays is futile except for archery, training ones horse and playing with ones wife.” (Sunan Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Ibn Majah).
Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (Allah have mercy on him) reports in his famous “Tibb al-Nabawi” that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay. (See: al-Tibb al-Nabawi p.183)
Al-Imaam As-Sa'dee (at-Tayseer p. 83) said regarding the verse (al-Baqarah: 223): By moving near to Allāh by doing good deeds, from them is; a man should romance his wife...
Ash-Shaykh Saalih al-'Uthyameen said (Tafseer Al-Qur'aan vol. 3 p. 87); It is appropriate that an individual should copulate with his wive with his erected genitalia and her wet genitalia.
Seeing the Nakedness
Narrated `Aisha: The Prophet - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam - and I used to take a bath from a single vessel. (Saheeh al-Bukhaaree #250)
Al-Haafidh (al-Fat'h vol. 1 p. 364) said: Ad-Dawoodee cited it as an evidence for the legality for a man to look at the nakedness of his wife and vice-versa.What strengthened it is what was reported by ibn Hibbān via the route of Sulaymān bn Mūsa: He was asked about a man that looked at the genitalia of his wife. He said: I asked it from 'Attaa' and he said: I asked Aaishah and she mentioned this narration with its meaning. It is the evidence on this issue.
Regarding what was reported from Aaishah: I have never seen the nakedness of the Messenger of Allaah (sallaLlaahu alayhi wa sallam) is the baseless report.
From what prooves its baselessness is the report:
Conceal your private parts except from your wife and from whom your right hands possess (slave-girls).(al-Inshshiraah pp. 51-52).
Romance, Kissing and Caressing
Ibn Hazm narrated from Sa'eed bn Jubayr; A man said to Ibn 'Abbaas: I married my beautiful cousin and I took her in in the month of Ramadhān, can I - may my father and mother be ransomed for you - kiss her? Ibn Abbaas said: Can you restrain yourself? He said: Yes. He said: Kiss her. He (the man) said: may my father and mother be ransomed for you - can I romance her? He said: Can you restrain yourself? He said: Yes. He said: Romance her. He said: Can I strike my palm over her genitalia? He said: Can you restrain yourself? He said: Yes. He said: Strike it. (Silsilah As-Saheehah vol. 1 p. 436).
Masturbating with Ones Spouse
Ash-Shawkaanee said: There is consensus (of scholars) on the legality of masturbation with the hand of ones spouse (Buloogh Al-Manee p. 80 and Ash-Shaykh Mashoor Al-Salmaan affirmed it in his introduction to the book p.7).
Suckling the Breast
Abu ‘Atiyah al-Waadi’i, who said: “A man came to Ibn Mas’ood and said: ‘My wife was with me and her breasts were full of milk (she was engorged). I began to suck it and spit it out. Then I came to Abu Moosa.’ He (Ibn Mas’ood) said, ‘What did you tell him?’ So he (Abu Moosa) told him what he had told him. Then Ibn Mas’ood stood up, took the man’s hand (and said), ‘Do you think this is an infant? Breastfeeding is what produces the growth of flesh and blood.’ Abu Moosa said: ‘Do not ask me anything when this scholar is among you.’ (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 7/463, no.13895).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked about suckling the breast of ones wife, and he replied: 'Breastfeeding a grown-up has no effect, because the breastfeeding which has an effect (of creating the relationship of mahram) is that which consists of five sucklings of the milk or more within the first two years, before weaning. On this basis, if it happens that someone breastfeeds from his wife or drinks from her milk, he does not become her son.' Fataawa Islamiyah, 3/338.
Copulating Positions
Allaah The Sublime says:
نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ وَقَدِّمُوا لِأَنفُسِكُمْ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّكُم مُّلَاقُوهُ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad)(Al-Baqarah:223)
Jaabir (radiyyaLlaahu 'anhu)said:
"The Jews used to say that if anyone has sex with his wife from the front but comes from the rear then their child will be squint-faced. So this verse was revealed: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will." (Sunan at-Tarmidhee hadeeth number 3221.Al-Albaanee graded it authentic in Al-Erwaa vol. 2 p.62)
Ibn Abbas narrated:
Umar came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Messenger of Allah , I have perished." He asked how and he said, "Tonight I turned my mount upside down." He did not answer till this verse was revealed: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will." (2:223).
Nevertheless, a husband must refrain from having sex at the anus and during menstruation (Sunan at-Tirmidhee hadeeth number 3223. Al-Albaane classed it good in Saheeh Sunan Abee Daawood #2978).
Abdullah Ibn-Abbas:
Ibn Umar misunderstood (the Qur'anic verse, "So come to your tilth however you will")--may Allah forgive him. The fact is that this clan of the Ansar, who were idolaters, lived in the company of the Jews who were the people of the Book. They (the Ansaar) accepted their superiority over themselves in respect of knowledge, and they followed most of their actions. The people of the Book (i.e. the Jews) used to have intercourse with their women on one side alone (i.e. lying on their backs). This was the most concealing position for (the genitals of) the women. This clan of the Ansaar adopted this practice from them. But this tribe of the Quraysh used to uncover their women completely, and seek pleasure with them from the front and behind and laying them on their backs. When the muhaajirun (the immigrants) came to Medina, a man married a woman of the Ansaar. He began to do the same kind of action with her, but she disliked it, and said to him: We were approached on one side (i.e. lying on the back); do it so, otherwise keep away from me. This matter of theirs spread widely, and it reached the Apostle of Allah - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam. So Allah, the Exalted, sent down the Qur'anic verse: "Your wives are a tilth to you, so come to your tilth however you will," i.e. from the front, from behind or lying on the back. But this verse meant the place of the delivery of the child, i.e. the female genital.(Sunan Abee Daawood hadeeth number 2166,Al-Albaanee classed it good in Saheeh Sunan Abee Daawood #2163)
Al-Imaam al-Qurtubee (Al-Jaamu' al-Ahkaam vol. 3 p. 93) said: These narrations are evidence for the legality of all the conditions and postions, if the copulation is done in the place of tilth; that is whatever (position) you wish, either from rear or front or kneeling or lying her on her back.
Ash Shaykh Saalih Al-'Uthaymeen (Tafseer Al Qur'aan Al-Kareem vol. 3 p. 87): Either from the front or back or side.
The Best Position
Al-Imaam ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah(al-Zaad vol. 3 p. 120) said: The best sexual position is the husband should be on top of the wife, resting on her after foreplay and kiss. This is the reason why woman is called firaash (bed) as the Prophet - sallallaahu alahyi wa sallam - said: The child goes to the owner of the bed (Saheeh al-Bukhaaree #1457). And it is from the complete manliness over a woman.
Oh Allaah grant us sincerity in all our activities and make us "a man" to our wife (ves). Aameen.
Follow the link below for Part I
